Context: In March 2020, I was scheduled to play in the NCAA DII Women’s National Tournament. My team and I arrived in Drury, MO (an eight-hour bus ride from my alma mater, Lewis University) and had our practice on March 12, 2020. Only a few hours later, the tournament was canceled, our spring break was extended, and the world had changed forever. It was also the end of my competitive basketball career.

Little did I know, it would also be the last day I lived with my college roommates as they would all return home and I lived alone in the dorm continuing chemistry research. We never returned to undergrad.

Fortunately, we made the decision to throw one last party the day we got back to campus coming back from Drury. That is a memory I will forever cherish. Two days later, after reflection and a sleepless night, I made this post on Facebook as a tribute to the sport that had consumed so much of my life up until that point. Please enjoy.

~~~

Dear Basketball,

13 years ago you lit a spark in me that I could not have anticipated.

12 years ago you introduced me to the females that would surround me and support me and challenge me as I transitioned from adolescence into young adulthood.

11 years ago you taught me about competitive spirit.

10 years ago you showed me what it meant to find your tribe.

9 years ago you taught me about commitment.

8 years ago you taught me about leadership, and self love, and the unknown. You taught me about faith. And you taught me about caring for something greater than myself.

7 years ago you inspired me to dream bigger.

6 years ago you taught me about friendship.

5 years ago you taught me about heart break, and perseverance, and overcoming the mountain.

4 years ago you taught me how to say goodbye.

3 years ago you gave me love when I didn’t think that I could find it anywhere else.

2 years ago you taught me about humility.

1 year ago you taught me that people will not forget your work ethic and the way that you treated them.

As I reflect on my competitive basketball career, I can’t help but think of the 8 year old girl who wanted to play hockey and instead fell in love with basketball. This sport has ushered me from my childhood into my adulthood, all while introducing me to the people who would shape me, raise me, and help me grow into the woman I am today. I would be remiss to say that it was always fun or easy, but in retrospect I know that every moment has served to make me the leader I aspire to be, particularly for young, LGBTQ+ people striving to find their place and their calling. The court has been a safe haven for me all these years and for that time I will forever be grateful.

As for what I learned this year, it is that I finally understand what it means to “rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

💛21,50💚14❤️12,34